A typical Weasley male moment
by daisychains123
Summary: the story of how I screwed up, and after a few strange experiences, a dragon attack, and a few clumsy, typical Weasley male moments, made myself the happiest bloke in the wizarding world…I'm not sure about Muggle  CharlieTonks
1. that's not it

A typical Weasley male moment

This isn't some fairy tale love story- so if you were here for that, then I'd leave now. Go on, skedaddle! This is pretty much the story of how I screwed up, and after a few strange experiences, a dragon attack, and a few clumsy, typical Weasley male moments, made myself the happiest bloke in the wizarding world…

…

(I'm not sure about muggle…)

It was a Sunday afternoon, and all the Weasleys' (plus Harry and Hermione) had gathered for a home cooked dinner at the Burrow.

There was much laughter, enjoyment, and merriment to be had, and all seemed to be having a wonderful time.

That was, until Mrs Weasley started talking about _couples. _The one subject Charlie would rather stick his head in a Hungarian Horntail's mouth to avoid… because; he just _knew _it would come back to him.

He wasn't wrong.

"Well, it seems we've got the entire family set up but you Charlie," said Mrs Weasley, passing the potatoes to her second eldest son.

"What are we then?" said Fred and George in outrage.

"Well we all know you two are lost causes," said Ginny grinning.

"We are wounded by your lack of faith," said George shaking his head sorrowfully, but then his evil grin appeared, and he turned back to Charlie, who had been trying to sink as far below the table as possible for his 6ft 2.

"But Mum's right" said George

"What about you Charlie?" added Fred

Charlie's ears were red, and he looked away mumbling "Shut up you two"

"Now Charlie" started Mrs Weasley, "I know a nice young girl who lives in Hogsmeade… maybe you should meet her?"

"No!"

"Why not?" said Mrs Weasley narrowing her eyes.

"Uh-oh… better be a good reason Charlie…," whispered Ron, warning Charlie unnecessarily.

"Because, I um…" Charlie struggled to find a fitting excuse.

"Because I already have a girlfriend"

…That wasn't it.

**Hey, this is just a lil short(ish) fic that came to me during the holidays. It's going to be Tonks/Charlie, and it's the first time I've ever written this. Don't worry, Love Stays the Same is still my main priority, but I just thought I'd start this and see where it lead me.**

**Ok, review!**

**Chels**


	2. i'm an idiot

A typical Weasley male moment

I was an idiot. That is all there is to it.

"Oh really? Well isn't that nice." Said Mrs Weasley, as Fred leaned forward. "What's her name?"

"Her name is… Alex."

"Alex? Is that short for something?" asked Hermione passing the beans to Ron.

"Its short for.. Alexis"

"That's pretty" Ginny said smiling at her older brother in a slightly disbelieving tone.

"Yeah, it would be pretty if, you know, she was _real_." Said George with a smirk.

"She is real!" said Charlie indignantly.

"Oh yeah? Prove it."

Charlie ran into the auror division the next day yelling at the top of his lungs.

"Tonks? Tonks!"

"What in the name of Merlin's saggy left nut are you yelling about Charlie?" she asked, vivid pink hair sticking out from her cubicle door.

"I need your help"

"Well I don't specialize in nut cases, but I'll see what I can do. Get in here, ya dragon taming twit."

"Tonks, I need a favour… a really _big _favour." Charlie said, standing before her desk.

"What have you done this time?"

Charlie looked around and Tonks got his drift, shutting the door, and placing a few silencing charms.

"My mother… asked me about… girlfriends."

"Oh the horror" said Tonks sarcastically, and Charlie shook his head.

"You don't understand… she was trying to set me up with someone… so I.."

"You…?"

"I kinda said that I already have a girlfriend."

"…you're an idiot."

"Thanks … and I know."

"So where do I come into all of this?"

"Um… well… ah… you're a girl…"

"Well noted, but I'm guessing that you didn't tell your family your dating me- well, you had better not have!"

"Well, see… you're also… a metamorphagus."

Comprehension dawned.

"Oh no. Ohh nooo! No way! You cannot be serious! Did Fred and George put something in your food!? Have you lost what little sanity you had!? You cannot be serious Charlie!?"

"Um… yes? And you said you cannot be serious twice."

Charlie promptly ducked as a hole-puncher was thrown at him.

"Hey! Come on Tonks! Who dragged you out of the lake when the giant squid was molesting you?"

"You pushed me in!"

"Oh yeah. Who bribed James Potter into letting you onto the Gryffindor quidditch team reserves?"

"YOU BRIBED HIM!"

"Ah… no…"

"Why the hell did you do that!?"

"Because you kept missing the bludger! You hit Peter Pettigrew's head with the bat! And he was in the stands!"

"Yeah- but he was out cold for a week wasn't he?"

Charlie chuckled. "Yeah, he was. Come on Tonks… who was your best bud during school?"

"I was temporarily insane the day I made you my best friend!"

"Temporarily?"

Tonks' second throw (this time with a book- an auror's guide to self-defence) did not miss.

"Ow…" said Charlie rubbing his forehead. "Ok, bad idea to taunt the person who's going to help you out of a tight spot."

"Who says I'm going to help you?"

"The puppy dog look."

"Oh no. Don't you da-"

Charlie made puppy eyes at her, and when she seemed to hesitate, got down on his knees.

"Come ooonnnn Tonks! I'm begging you! Please?"

Tonks sighed and pinched the bridge of her nose.

Damn those Weasley puppy dog eyes.

"Fine. I'll do it."

"YES! Thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you, thank you!"

Tonks rolled her eyes at her best friend and grumbled affectionately.

"I really hate you- you know that?"

"I love you too Tonks." Charlie said ruffling his friend's hair.

"Bastard."


	3. harmless my arse!

A typical Weasley male moment

"Okay, so what do I do?" Tonks asked in defeat, slumping against her desk.

"Well… the twins didn't believe me when I said I had a girlfriend..."

"Hmmm- wonder why that would be? Oh! maybe because YOU DON"T!"

"…yeah… and so they said 'prove it' and I kinda said that I would- long story short- my girlfriend Alex is coming for dinner on Wednesday."

"...Alex?"

"Short for Alexis"

At Tonks' disgusted look he shrugged his shoulders and said "Well it's better than Nymphadora"

"Can't argue with that. So did your big mouth tell them at all what Alex looks like?"

"Nope; so you can have free range with that- just try and turn up with natural coloured hair; otherwise they may suspect."

"Yes- because heaven forbid they find out you _don't _have a girlfriend."  
Charlie rolled his eyes and continued "As I was saying- you can have free range with that; just nothing to out of the ordinary please"

He was interrupted by a blaring siren.

Tonks jumped to her feet, pulling her wand out as she went.

"I gotta go- I'll come by work tomorrow to sort this mess out."

Charlie didn't even have time to say goodbye before she was out the door at a run, tripping over her own feet as she went.

He stood, mouth agape for a second, before shaking his head.

"Aurors"

"Hi- I'm here to see Charlie Weasley"

The man looked up from behind the desk. He looked like he would be more comfortable in a wrestling ring, but he gave a gruff smile and nodded, jerking his thumb to the door to his left.

"He's out in the Ridgeback pen"

"Um… thanks."

Tonks made her way out to the Ridgeback pen, only to walk into Charlie. Literally.

"Oof!"

"Umfh!"

The two fell to the ground winded, before looking up to see whom it was they walked into.

Charlie's eyes widened.

"I'm very sorry miss- I wasn't watching-"

"Miss? Since when did you call me miss?" snorted Tonks, accepting Charlie's offered hand.

"Tonks?" he said in disbelief.

"Someone give the boy a medal."

"You...you have natural coloured hair. It's…not pink."

"Good to know you're not colour blind- do you have a place where we can talk without being eaten by one of your colleagues?"

"Oh, the dragons won't attack"

"Well that's a bonus, but I wasn't talking about the dragons."

"Oi- they may look a bit off; but looks can be deceiving."

"Ain't that the truth of it." Muttered Tonks as she followed Charlie through a large gate, and fell into an easy pace into the habitat.

"Yeah, I was going to say- you've outdone yourself this time Tonks- they'd never recognize you!"

"Thanks, but I didn't do anything- this is my natural appearance"

Charlie's mouth fell agape.

"No way! I don't think I've ever seen you like this- you never went all natural at school, did you?"

"I haven't been 'all natural' in a long time- not since I was nine, and I really got a hang for morphing."

"Then why do you morph… I mean… well you're hardly ugly."

"Uhh… thanks, I think… And I change my appearance because I enjoy it. Makes me different- unique"

"Well you were hardly ever normal."

Tonks elbowed him, before looking around and taking in her surroundings.

"Where are we?"

"Norwegian Ridgeback pen" Charlie replied calmly

"WHAT! You brought me to see one of your giant lizards!?"

"Dragon," Charlie corrected, slightly miffed. "There's a difference."

"Yeah- it's appetite!"

"I told you before; Norbert wouldn't hurt a thing- completely harmless, just as Hagrid raised him to be."

"Hagrid raised it? Oh that makes me feel _so_ much better!"

"Come on- you're an auror, you're supposed to be brave."

"There's a saying Mad-Eye once told us- 'Bravery is just a nicer way for saying stupidity- I've got news for ya- nice people get killed.'"

Charlie grinned. "Yeah, well that's Mad-Eye isn't it?"

"He has an uncanny ability to be right."

Charlie shook his head and pushed past some bushes.

Tonks looked after him, considering, before throwing herself after him muttering, "What the hell, add one more stupid things I've done to my list"

"DOESN'T ATTACK MY ARSE! I AM GOING TO **GUT** YOU CHARLIE WEASLEY! IF I EVER GET THE USE OF MY LEG BACK I WILL HUNT YOU DOWN, CHOP YOU UP, FEED YOU TO THAT OVERGROWN LIZARD, AND THEN MAKE HAGRID CLEAN UP THE MESS!" Tonks yelled at Charlie as she was carried away to the ward that cared for magical burns at St Mungos.

Charlie stood in shock, ears ringing even as the doors closed, a Healer at his shoulder and the entire waiting room staring at him.

The healer shook his head, a bemused smile on his face. He patted Charlie on the shoulder.

"Bit of advice son," he said quietly as the room went back to their own business, "Not the best idea to take your girlfriend to work with you."

"She's not my girlfriend," Charlie muttered, ears turning a vivid fuchsia.

"Sure." The healer smiled, and walked away, adding over his shoulder "good luck with that one- she won't be very happy with you if she can't get back to work."

Charlie winced at the thought.

"I'm a dead man."


End file.
